August 9, 2009 - Proper 14, Year B (RCL)
Today we have another chapter in the story of David, a story that began with so much promise
when the prophet Samuel
anointed him as a teenager,
when he played his harp to soothe King Saul,
when he killed the Philistine Goliath.
And then he took over from King Saul,
a new, God-anointed king,
and it seemed like the fairy tale would have a happy ending.
But this isn’t
a fairy tale,
and intermingled with the good times
have been difficulty and failure and plain old poor decision making, culminating
in the stories we’ve heard the last two weeks,
David’s seduction of Bathsheba and arranging of the killing of her husband,
and his eventual realization
that he had done wrong.
Last week, David had heard words of condemnation from his own mouth. He deserved to be punished.
He said it himself.
And the punishment
said God, or perhaps
it was just a matter of simple consequences,
was that trouble would strike David’s own family from within.
And so when his baby died,
the baby
from his affair with Bathsheba,
David was sad,
but not surprised.
That was kind of what he had expected.
Because in the world he lived in,
children did pay
for their parents’
misdoings,
and as far as he could tell,
he was
to blame.
But that wasn’t the end of the story.
Because the consequences of David’s actions
continued long afterwards.
His behavior
with Bathsheba
had set a precedent.
Vows don’t matter. Might is right. Morality comes second to desire.
David’s older children, teenagers at the time of his affair with Bathsheba,
grew to adulthood.
And somewhere along the way,
they picked up those same ideas.
Vows don’t matter. Might is right. Morality comes second to desire.
And so it was that Amnon, one of David’s sons, raped his half sister, Tamar.
And David was distressed, but did nothing about it. So Absalom,Tamar’s brother,
took things into his own hands, lured Amnon away,
and had him killed.
And then fled the kingdom,
afraid that his father David
would take revenge
on him.
But time passed,
and David missed his son Absalom,
and sent for him
and the rift between them was healed.
Or so David thought.
But meanwhile
Absalom
had been plotting.
He started rumors,
that the people would be better off
if he were king.
And slowly
he won over the people, until he had enough to raise an army
and attacked his father.
And so they went to war,
father and son,
and that’s where
our story picks up today.
David
was about to go to battle,
to go to battle
with his son
whom he loved so much
but who has betrayed him.
He knew
that whoever won this battle
would be king.
He’d led his people
into so many battles, battles just like this one.
But this one was different,
this one
could have resulted
in the death of his son.
So he sent out the order.
“Whatever happens,
fight as hard as you can,
but please, don’t kill
my son
Absalom.”
And the battle began.
Three battalions
David sent out,
and they were able to push the enemy
into the forest,
a rugged,
stony region,
a wilderness,
death to an army
trained to fight in fertile farmland.
And David’s army was victorious,
the wilderness taking as many victims as the sword.
But Absalom
survived,
until Joab and his men came along, Joab, David’s commander-in-chief, the one he told
to keep Absalom safe.
And they found Absalom.
He’d been riding his mule through the forest
when his hair,
which he wore in something like dreadlocks
got caught
in the branches
of a tree.
And he was stuck.
Before he could cut himself free,
Joab and his man arrived.
And even though David
had told Joab not to harm Absalom,
Joab
thought differently.
It was just stupid
to let this enemy of David
go free,
and besides,
he had a personal score to settle with Absalom.
So he took three spears
and stuck them into Absalom
and then left his men
to finish the job.
And sent a messenger to David, a Cushite, an immigrant,
figuring that the last messenger to bring news of a royal death - that was king Saul’s -
had been punished for his bad news with death,
so better not
to risk one of his own fighting men.
But instead of being angry
David was devastated.
His son Absalom,
who he had loved so much
was dead.
God’s prophecy
had come true;
trouble had struck his family
and it was all his fault.
When it comes to the stories of kings and kingdoms,
the story of David and Absalom
is not so unusual.
If you’ve studied any European history,
you’ll know of the many times
where brothers and half brothers and children and nephews
have fought one another
for the throne.
But this isn’t just
a sanitized record for the history books.
This is the story of a family
ripped apart
by bad decisions
and moral failings,
but a family also bound together by love.
Sure, it’s on a grand scale,
but take it back down a notch
and it’s not so different
from any of our families.
Because the reality is
that no matter how much we love one another
bound together by blood,
it’s the way of families, isn’t it, that sometimes things break down.
Sometimes
it’s kind of expected.
Babies become toddlers
and suddenly begin throwing tantrums in the middle of the grocery aisle.
Toddlers become children
and begin to assert their own personalities.
Children become teenagers
and push the boundaries.
Teenagers become adults
and learn what it is
to be responsible.
“Honor your father and mother”
is one of the ten commandments,
and of course, there wouldn’t need to be a commandment
if honoring parents
weren’t a problem.
But at least in the Old Testament, there’s a lot less guidance for parents. We’re mostly left
to work it out for ourselves
trying to draw lessons
from the examples of people like David.
Although when we get to the New Testament
the letter to the Ephesians, which we’re reading in our New Testament readings at the moment,
in the letter to the Ephesians, chapter 6,
it begins,
“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. ‘Honor your father and mother’ —which is the first commandment with a promise— ‘that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth’”
and then continues
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
Some basic principles for family harmony,
but it never really deals with those inevitable times of conflict
in our families.
So we’re left to turn back to the few examples we have,
and one of them this story of David.
What do you do
when your child
messes up?
What if they
turns against you?
That if they betray you?
If David’s example
is anything to go by
the only answer is,
love them.
Love them, and keep on loving them,
even when it seems to be
almost impossible.
And I guess that points us
to the ultimate example,
to God.
One of the main ways God is described in Scripture and in our tradition
is as father.
The whole of the Old Testament
is the story of God
being like a father
to the people of Israel.
God creates them, calls them into being,
God provides for them and leads them,
God disciplines them
and blesses them.
Sometimes
the people are great.
They enjoy their relationship with God,
they take God’s advice,
they are thankful
for God’s blessings.
And they thrive.
But other times
are not so good.
The people mess up.
they want to do things their own way.
They try to ignore God.
But God
doesn’t ignore them.
No matter what,
year after year, generation after generation
God never stops loving them.
Sometimes
it’s up close,
with the intimacy
of a child snuggling
on her father’s lap.
Sometimes
it’s kind of remote,
as God watches from a distance
the people trying to go their own way.
But always
God loves them.
Just as David
will always
love his son Absalom.
No matter what.
And the same is true
for us as parents.
When things are good
we love our children.
When things are bad,
we love our children.
Sometimes
it will have to mean letting them make their own decisions, their own mistakes,
and letting them live with the consequences.
That’s so difficult.
Other times,
it will be the joy of a close relationship.
But always
we love them.
I’d like to finish with a prayer
for parents.
Gracious God, we pray for all who are parents. Grant them wisdom and grace,
tolerance and strength,
forgiveness, healing and hope,
and help them to love their children as you love us,
in the name of your Son Jesus Christ.
Amen.
© Raewynne J. Whiteley 2009