December 17 - Eulogy for Florence Clark, by her Grandson, Bob Miller
What a privilege and blessing it is to be able to have the opportunity to share some thoughts with you about the life and death of Florence Clark. My name is Bob Miller, I am the oldest of her 12 grandchildren. You can call me Bobby. That’s what she called me. I called her Grandmommy.
I miss Grandmommy. I miss her smile and her laugh, I miss her warm hugs. Her kind encouraging words to me and my family.
I loved Grandmommy. I loved her hospitality and generosity. I loved her passion for knowledge. She always had a fact or tidbit of information that amazed me.“How does she know that?” I loved how she talked about the books she read and the trips and adventures with her friends. I loved her love for this church. I loved her love of music. I remember long conversations, discussing the options for the greatest tenor that ever lived. For today I will concede it was Pavoratti. I loved her home; the way it was decorated, and the way it smelled. I loved her full cookie jar. I loved how easy it was to talk her into a treat on a trip to the grocery store. To be honest though, I don’t miss her driving.
The last time I saw her was 2.5 years ago. My wife Diane and I took her out for breakfast and had a wonderful time enjoying her company. We reminisced for several hours. She told me stories I had never heard before and some stories I wish I didn’t have to hear again. She was honest about losses and regrets in her life as well as seasons of grief that she had experienced. It was one of those special times that will remain a precious memory for the rest of my life. I live in Seattle WA. I knew when I kissed her good bye that day, it was the last time I would see her in this life. I knew by the look in her eyes she knew it too. I hugged her, held her, cried with her and looked one last time into her eyes. How I loved that woman and I know she loved me.
I wish I could have one more breakfast. I wish I could have one more laugh. I wish I could have one more smile, one more cookie, even just one more frail hug. Sadly that will never be.
For many of us gathered in this room today, the days since her death have been challenging to say the least. Personally, I have been forced to deal with my own grief and sadness in a way I didn’t want to. I hate being sad. I don’t do grief. But these past few days I have had sadness that is so profound and in many ways too deep for me to even be able to describe in words. But in that grief, I’ve been overwhelmed by the sense that my sorrow was supposed to be about something more, something bigger, and more substantial than just being sad about missing her.
On Thursday, my dear friend and pastor Nate, sent me a few articles to read with the hope they would encourage me in my season of grief. One of them was particularly helpful to engaging the “bigger thing”. I want to read you a short passage. Maybe it will encourage some of you too. The author is Paul Tripp a well known Christian Author and Counselor.
“Every time someone dies it reminds those of us who are watching that God’s work is not complete. Because of sin, death entered the world. Only when sin is finally and completely defeated, will death no longer be part of the equation. The Apostle Paul talks about Christ’s present ministry reminding us that “He has put all enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death” (I Cor. 15:25, 26) Christ died that we would no longer have to die. He rose again so that death would be put to death. Every time someone dies, it reminds us that death still lives. Every death brings with it the promise that Christ brings a resurrection once and forever. Through Christ, death has been defeated. One day, life will no longer give way to death. Children will not mourn their parents. Parents will not mourn their children. There will be no widows, no shocking announcements of death, no grieving friends and family. Yes, death is an enemy, but this enemy will die. It has been conquered. One day, life will give way to life, and life will give way to life in eternity.
"As we weep in grief, know this: the One who weeps with us is not content for things to remain as they are. His death was a cry and His resurrection a promise. As the living Christ, He will continue to exert His power and those who are His will one day grieve no more.”
There it is- The truth, the fact, the bigger thing -that the purpose of our grief is to remind us that this is not the way things are ultimately supposed to be. The world is broken. When sin entered the world broke. Nothing now is the way it is supposed to be. Our grandmother’s death is not the way it is supposed be, Your mother’s death is not the way it is supposed to be. Death, and sickness and pain and suffering are not the way life was designed to be. But our grief has been given to us as a gift; a Gift to remind us that this life is broken and desperately needs to be restored.
But thankfully we are not left there. We have a hope. Our mourning is also given to us to point us expectantly to the one who came and will come to restore all that is broken. Through Christ, death has been defeated and because of that a time is coming when we will not grieve. A time is coming when all that is wrong will be made right and all that is broken will be made whole. That’s the bigger thing. That’s the something more to my grief.
Mom, Pat, Andrew, I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I can only imagine your pain and know that even when I try, I come up short. I ache for you. We all mourn with you. But I pray that for all of us, our mourning and our grief will be a reminder of what we know to be true through the depth of our pain, that this is not the way things are supposed to be and that our only hope is in The One who has come to make it all right.
Yes I will still think about and miss hugs, cookies, and conversations, but my grief in her death has reminded me of my hope. May all our grief one day turn to joy as we are pointed to Jesus Christ himself, our only hope in life and in death.
© Raewynne J. Whiteley 2010